Coming up for air

Lost in the chaos of grief

No way out, no reprieve

Sucking you down – you hold your breath

Waiting to be free of this enduring tide

Of raw emotion, pain and fear

I come up for air but I am left behind

Life has moved on but cast me aside

The sea of grief has ebbed but the clouds have moved in

Closing down around me – so grey and so dim

I gasp and I choke – I stumble and falter

I claw and I fight to push myself out of the water

A glimmer of sun bursts through the clouds

and reminds me of the me that I left behind

A year and a month since you went away

I try to move forward but stumble and fall

I wish you were here to pull me free

To tell me what to do so I can see through the clouds

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About

Losing my dad unexpectedly and suddenly in difficult circumstances has been heartbreaking and beyond pain. I set up this site for my sisters and I to unite in our grief through poetry and to help u…

Source: About

Screwed

You come to me with your friendship

Stretched out in front on a plate

Well I nearly fell for it

But it’s way too little too late

 

Have you no idea, no respect for how I feel

Of all that you have taken?

Left with nothing – not knowing what to do

Because you are selfish? Greedy? No way of fighting

For what is right and true?

 

Yes, you are weak – well my ‘friend’ I am strong

I do not want your crumbs of self pity and destruction

I will find my own way but will stay true

To everything I value…

Yet with some ambiguity

That also includes you

 

Yes I am strong, but I also have a heart

So my fair-weather friend,

 

The anger will subside but will forgiveness come?

Can we mend the weakness that has driven us apart?

 

Tomorrow

Today I am done, I am beaten, weary from the fight

Alone, isolated, ostracised for not yielding

But the fight lies dormant, waiting for strength

I have but a few hours to search deep within;

To rest, recover, before facing the enemy

Who overnight turned from friend to foe

 

Deep within I know it is there

The strength, the power to battle on

My memory of you makes me fight for fairness

The legacy you left me from the moment I was born

I will try not to disappoint you, to waiver from my mission

To stand up for fairness and stay true to me within

 

Wish me luck dad x

DONE!

Backed into a corner, no way to fight

No way forward and no way out

Isolated, alone – no support in my plight

 

Something I’ve loved, taken just like that

No warning, no compassion, no regard

 

Bereavement comes in many guises

But this I didn’t foresee

The disregard for all I’ve done

For me, my loyalty

365 days on

I sit on the eve that you went away

Pensive of what tomorrow brings

Memories that I fight to distil

Of the pain numbed by time

 

365 days have passed now

I quash memories so I can continue on

of how you were hurt and left to die

alone, afraid, no one giving a damn

 

I feel part mended, I block the thoughts

But in some moments I cannot escape

The anger, the pain – it lies deep within

How cruelly you were treated, your suffering

 

Tomorrow beckons nearer

I do not know what to do

how to face the memories of a year ago

Of the morning when they took you